Ahmed Hakami, Ph.D.
Most of the time life can not give us what we desire and when it does, it might be a tragedy as George Bernard Shaw said. How can reframing help with this?
What is positiveness (happiness) but reframing. Having the ability to handle whatever life brings with a solid conception “first, I notice positive sides, then I reframe other sides to be positive, as well”. Thus, all we get are acceptable and considerable.
In Outcomes Well-Formedness Conditions, NLP suggests that we state outcomes in positive. That means; what we want instead of what we don’t want. The reason is; our minds process positive then negative, so when we say: we don’t want get bored, we first think of the state of being bored.
I find this a contradiction, since avoiding what we assume negative, is in the same time not a positive approach for the natural mechanism of our minds.
I hope readers notice that how our minds naturally using reframing when we state outcomes in negative according to NLP. Our minds reframe by thinking of positiveness of negativity, and if we could reframe the semantically part of negativity as well, we would get perfect mechanism.
So, it is ok to state a goal by considering something you don’t want, as soon it is congruent with other aspects of your life. Let’s consider situations of many patients who challenge incurable diseases, when they positively state: we don’t want to die.
The idea here is to start changing how we look to words like: no, not, never, etc. we will keep calling them negative words as linguistic distinguishing, we shouldn’t damn them at all. Just connect them to positive semantics, and that’s all it takes.
Practical side for such change was already mentioned in Magic of Reframing I, where we would simply do following steps:
- Listing what we consider as negative statements.
- Reframe the semantics positively.
- Use NLP and Hypnosis techniques to implant the effect.
Examples of reframing negative statements:
- No/Not/Never: is yes for the other part of equation or possibilities.
- Negative Statement: I want to exercise to not get fat.
- Related Semantics: I want to be slim.
- Negative Statement: No Smoking.
- Related Semantics: Yes to stay healthy.
Always practice how magically you can reframe whatever looks negative with weakening radiation. And from now on, there’s no empty half a cup!
Contact the author:
Ahmed Hakami, Ph.D, NLP Trainer
P. O. Box 70053
Khobar 31952
Saudi Arabia
Mobile: (966)55-861-792
positiveness4life@yahoo.com
Ahmed Hakami, Ph.D.
In NLP teachings people are urged to choose proper words in communication. And to dig for real meaning in others’ statements. Words we and others use don’t reflex the whole structure of its meaning and whatever beyond.
However, we can’t ask everyone we meet to use proper words with us, and we can’t teach them why and how, mostly because the context of meetings doesn’t allow.
Therefore, smart ones should prepare themselves to encounter some words that have negative affects. Positive Reframing is one of many ways to handle such unease. Positive Reframing can give us a capacity to hear whatever anyone says in beneficial tones we like.
Now, You can think of any of those negative single words like; fear, fail, fool, to mention only some. Imagine hearing it from someone and notice how it could change your mood even in a moment, when was the last time you heard such of annoying word?!
As we consider choices here, to overcome such feelings, here some examples, to see how can we change our inner response and hear that word in a soft caring way (this can be applied on more than words, we can do the same with images, sounds, feelings that attached to negative inner responses).
First, list words that bother and hurt you to hear. Then on the other side write the suggested positive meaning (Reframing) for them.
Negative Word
Fear
Fail
FoolSuggested Positive Reframing (SPR)
you can adjust and be courageous to…
you can adjust and succeed with…
you can adjust and be smart at…
Now, imagine that person using one of such words, and you hear it the way you want because it is your responsibly to react to what others say, you don’t need to bother a lot about why they use such irritating words as soon you can benefit of it and do something better than feeling sad and upset.
You can use self hypnosis and implant a suggestion that “every time I hear such words (or others external/internal events) I know that, in my deep mind, there’s a positive meaning and message they convey to me, to adjust and do something creative and better… every time.. .and new doors that opened with such negative words from others will make me and everyone wonder of how easily I can transfer them to a resourceful helpers…”
You can use anchoring, swish patterns and any other techniques to link such words with your SPRs.
Remember, the map is not the territory, therefore, you have the right to have the (positive) map you want!
Contact the author:
Ahmed Hakami, Ph.D, NLP Trainer
P. O. Box 70053
Khobar 31952
Saudi Arabia
Mobile: (966)55-861-792
positiveness4life@yahoo.com