Winning at the Games of Life
by
L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.

Frame Games: Persuasion Elegance (2001, Published by Neuro-Semantics Publications, Paperback, 329 pages)  is a book all about the games that we all play, the games that we play everyday of our lives, and the games that we play in every arena of life: health, wealth, business, personal, etc. Frame Games explains why we act the way we do, our thinking patterns, emotional habits, and the actions and interactions that make or break us. Frame Games goes much further than the old Transactional Analysis Games and further than Game Theory. Frame Games provides a user friendly version of NLP and Neuro-Semantics by putting the cutting edge model of Meta-States into a form that is easy to understand and use.

With Frame Games you will be able to access the right kind of mental frames that will put you in charge of your own states and emotions, that will increase your effectiveness, productivity, health, personal genius, etc. In Frame Games you will discover that all of life is a Game played within frames and frames-of-frames. You will discover how to detect, alter, and transform the Matrix of your Mental Frames and to thereby enter into an entirely new world of experience.

Frame Games will point you in the way of personal mastery, the higher levels of mind, will reveal the secrets of success, and will enable you to truly master your own Matrix of frames.

FRAME GAMES is about Winning at the Games of Life

If you're ready for a journey into the structure of meaning and mind, Frame Games will take you on an adventure into the very matrix of the frames of your mind. As Morpheus did in the movie, "The Matrix," Dr. Hall invites you to "take the red pill" so that you can wake up from "the world that's been pulled down over your eyes." Then you can become free from the domination of your own Frames. This book prepares you to play some brand new mind games that will equip and empower you to hack into any Matrix of Meaning and master that Matrix from a higher state of mind. This book is about how to free your mind, take charge of it, and operate it as a Game Master.

Frame Games establishes another expression of Meta-States and opens up an entirely new approach.

In 2001, look for the first two application books as well as trainings¾

1. Games Thin People Play ¾ for winning at fitness, weight management, and vitality.
2. Games Business Experts Play ¾ for winning at the games of business.

Table of Contents

Foreword 
Introduction 

HOW TO PLAY FRAME GAMES

1 Playing Frame Games

Catching a Game in Progress

2  Frame Awareness: The Frame Game

3  Frame Understanding: Frames of Mind

4  Frame Appreciation: Higher Frames of Mind

5  Frame Detection: Mindfully Playing the Frame Game

6  Frame Game Analysis

Changing A Game

7  Frame Refusal

8  Frame Shifting

9  Frame Installing¾ Overt Frame Setting

10  Frame Installing¾ Covert Frame Setting

11  Frame Solidifying

12  Rules of the Frame Game

FRAME GAMES FOR EXCELLENCE IN LIVING
Games People Should Play

13  Frames of Mind for Powering Up

14  Frames of Mind for Personal Excellence

15  Frames of Mind For Great Relationships

16  Frames for Health & Vitality

17  Frames For Persuasion Elegance

18  Frame Games in the Vortex of Life

Let the Games Begin!

Books on Frame Games

Frame Game Secrets

Glossary

Bibliography

Thesaurus

Trainings Available

About the Author

Society of Neuro-Semantics

PRELUDE

Paul had a big decision to make. He worked as an independent agent for a company, yet recently his boss had been increasing his expectations, putting more and more tasks on Paul's plate, and increasing the pressure to produce more. Paul loved his work, the freedom, independence, money, and creativity, but he found it really hard to "confront" his boss and to talk openly and forthrightly. This was creating lots of internal distress, distracting him from his work and undermining his effectiveness. At one of our trainings, Paul volunteered for a demonstration.

I began, "So what would really increase your own personal resourcefulness, and bring out your own 'Genius at Work'?"

"If I could somehow get myself to stop being so afraid to bring things up."

"Ah, so with authority figures you play the game, 'I'm a Nothing, You are the Big All-Powerful Master. I must never to anything to upset you, that would destroy everything!' Is that the game you play?"

"Well, not exactly, but it kind of feels that way."

"What would you call the game?"

"I would call it, ah... 'I'm Afraid to Confront People in Authority.'"

"So when you play this game, you don't bring things up, you stuff your thoughts and feelings, you act like a patsy, you cower before anyone you classify as an 'Authority,' and you just let problems, stresses, and frustrations grow until they become large and unmanageable and then you try to deal with them. That's sounds like a lot of fun. Does that work very well for you?"

"No, not at all."

"Are you sure? Maybe this is the Frame Game that really makes life much more of a party for you! Maybe this is the game that brings out your best and puts you in the direction you want to go in life!"

"No, it isn't! It doesn't help things at all. It makes things much worse, and I don't want to play it anymore!"

"Give me a break, Paul. When you talk in that wimpy kind of voice, it sounds like you're made just for this game. I think maybe you should play it for the rest of your life with everybody, not just Authority Figures!"

"NO! Never."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, absolutely."

"Well, if you didn't play that game, what game would you like to play?"

"I'd like to be able to just bring things up when they are small and manageable and just talk them out and work out an arrangement without feeling so scared and anxious about it. I'm sure that this pattern came from my dad, he was a Marine and didn't allow us to disagree with him at all."

"Ah, so you'd like to play the game of 'Let's Just talk about things and work out a Win/Win arrangement.' And you'd like that game?"

"Yes, very much so."

"How would you be feeling and thinking if you began to play that game?"

"I'd be thinking about what I want and staying focused on listening to the other. I'd have to think that there's nothing wrong with my boss wanting his way, and that I have a right to want my way as well. And that if we understand each other, we'll find a way for both of us to win."

"But you can't think that way! You know that every single Authority Figure in the world only cares about what they want and don't give a damn about others."

(Laughing) "No, that's not true. I just sometimes get put off when someone comes across in a forceful way. That's when I back off."

"So what frame would you have to adopt in order to continue playing with people who feel passionate about their goals? Who come across in strong and powerful ways¾ even forceful?"

"Let's see, I'd have to frame it as 'their enthusiasm,' and not manipulation."

"And can you think that? If you entertained that idea and felt it fully in your body, what game would it initiate in the way you talk and walk and interact? What sport would it feel like to you to engage someone like that?"

"I'd feel like we're engaged in an intense game of tennis, hitting the ball back and forth between the courts."

"And would that be fun?"

"Yeah."

"And if you brought up your ideas, thoughts, feelings, and suggestions and hit them into his court when they were still small and manageable, while you could still breathe fully and feel highly flexible in your serving and returning of his serves, would that be the kind of interactive game that would keep you feeling vital and alive in the process?"

"Yes, it sure would."

"So let's list the frames of mind you would need to play this game with your boss, and the rules that would govern the game."

"I'd have to realize that it's just a game, and that when I'm relaxed and calm I can play much better, and that his forcefulness is just his energy and passion and excitement, and that I have the right to feel the same kind of energy and enthusiasm for my ideas, and that if I play when things are small and manageable, I'll be more flexible and creative and won't get locked up."

"Anything else?"

"I would need to not take things personal."

"So if he serves a really good volley your way, with energy, power, and force¾ I take it that you'd want to be able to see it as just a good move and not about you, but about serving the ball?"

"Yeah, that would do it."

"But, then again, Paul, maybe you are nothing more than the serves that Authority Figures hit your way. Maybe you are just the emotions you feel about that. Maybe you are nothing more than....

"NO! I am more than what I feel or say or the serves that come to me or that I return! Therefore I don't need to personalize."

And the game goes on.

Frame Games

To identify the things that truly drive and control our lives, we have to identify the frame and the frame-within-frames. Such frames actually control the games we live. Once we detect our frames and the games that they initiate, then we can apply a wide-range of frame altering technology to them. Knowing this gives you the focus and direction of this book.

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