WHEN AN EMOTION IS NOT A REAL EMOTION – Meta Reflections 2013 #30

Masquerading around our lives are pseudo-emotions. Seducing us to call them “emotions,” to think of them as real emotions, and to respond to them as if they were actually “emotions,” these masquerading false-emotions plague our lives and those of our loved ones. And what makes them so tricky and so difficult to catch is that you and I can create them in a moment, in a nanosecond.

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EMOTIONS- RIGHT AND RELATIVE – Meta Reflections 2013 #28

In the past two articles, I have identified five of the seven truths about emotions, and with this one the last two truths. As a kinesthetic sensation enriched by meaning (cognitively) an emotion exercises influence on us to get us to move (motion) out (ex) from where we are. As a difference between map-and-territory, these mind-body systemic experiences create energy, motivation, and vitality within us. They are therefore important, but not as ultimate truth, but as relative truth indicating what meanings our bodies are attempting to actualize. As somatic registering of our meanings- they indicate the meanings that we are feeling.

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Last week I began this series on “Getting Clear on what an Emotion is.” I started by beginning with the “7 Truths about Emotions” that we present in a good many of the Neuro-Semantic Trainings. Here are two more for this week. These “truths” about emotions pick up on the theme to continue grounding this subject so that we know what we’re talking about and in that way we can create a good operational definition of an emotion. Once this is complete, then I’ll present some skills for handling emotions from an NLP/Neuro-Semantic perspective for emotional mastery.

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GETTING CLEAR ON WHAT AN EMOTION IS – Meta Reflections 2013 #26

Just this past week I presented the Seven Truths that we Speak to Emotions. In Neuro-Semantics, we present this when we work with the Crucible Change Model, the Meta-Stating Troubling Emotions pattern, the Emotional Mastery training, and various other trainings. These ideas are also in numerous books, Unleashed, The Crucible, and Meta-States. Several suggested that I present the material here on Neurons, hence this series.

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Some years ago I interviewed several public speakers. It wasn’t a big modeling project, just a tiny little one. I wanted to know what certain speakers who seemed exceptionally “cool, calm, and collected” were doing in their minds and bodies to create that experience. So I asked. I asked if I could interview them, and then using a combination of NLP and Neuro-Semantic models, I questioned them until I obtained their strategies for maintaining “presence of mind under pressure.” After I got three strategies, I then went to the literature on stress and stress management, to the writings of Hans Selye, the stress management expert and person who coined the term eustress, and the literature on Assertiveness which is the Type-C personality in contrast to Type-A and Type-B personalities when it comes to stress.

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There are many dimensions of self-actualization, maybe there are as many dimensions as there are aspects of human experience. As we in Neuro-Semantics keep studying, researching, training, coaching, and consulting on self-actualization and enabling people to live a self-actualizing life, we are discovering new dimensions. To this end, I have designed the Self-Actualization Training, Certification, Competency skills, and Diploma around four of the key dimensions: vitality, potentiality, creativity, and leadership. These are very different aspects of the self-actualizing life and so each of the trainings are very different as well.

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BOOK REVIEW OF THE ORIGINS OF NLP – 2013 Meta Reflections #23

Finally we have a second book on the history of NLP, one that adds more information about the early days and gives much more of a human face to the adventure called NLP. In 1990 Terry McClendon published the first book, The Wild Days: NLP 1972-1981. This now gives us two books on the early history. Yet while we have a second book, it is still not complete and there’s lots more about the history and origins of NLP that is missing from this book.

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MODELING BEYOND BELIEFS – 2013 Meta Reflections #22

Modeling any experience inevitably involves modeling beliefs. Whether you are modeling an experience of excellence or an experience of dysfunction and pathology, beliefs are involved. They drive the experience. That’s why every NLP modeling process that I’ve seen to date involves examining the beliefs that are involved in the experience. We do that explicitly in Neuro-Semantics by examining the belief system, that is, the system of beliefs which make up the person’s matrix of frames about something. Yet there is something more within complex human experiences- something that transcends beliefs.

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The enrichment of modeling with Meta-States began in 1994 during my very first modeling project— Resilience. I started the project in 1991when I became really fascinated by the quality of staying with something when set-backs occur. It did not begin with big set-backs, but actually with little ones. And with the smallest of set-backs. Until then I had not even really noticed the phenomenon.

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THE KEY NLP MODELING TOOL – Meta Reflections 2013 #12

In the last post on Neurons I concluded the article on modeling by talking about the NLP Communication Model and noting that it is a tool for modeling. Now the interesting about it is that it arose from modeling. It arose from modeling the language patterns of Fritz Perls and Virginia Satir and while it used Transformational Grammar (TG) to do so, the new model, “The Meta-Model of Language” soon jettisoned Transformational Grammar. That’s why, while you will find a summary of TG at the end of the book The Structure of Magic, Volume I, you will not find it in any of the other books by the NLP originators or any of those who came later.

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Not given to over-statement, I thought I’d start with this modest title (!) and describe what has evolved over the years in Neuro-Semantics—our version of how to train and prepare Trainers and Public Speakers. Neuro-Semantic Trainers’ Training (NSTT) involves a full two weeks of training and training that is very intense (a boot camp that goes from 9 am to 9 pm) and that covers the Psychology that informs Meta-States and the APG training, the Platform Skills of presentation, the Training Skills for putting a training together, and the Business Skills for running a training center or selling yourself into businesses.

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MODELING HUMAN EXPERIENCES – Meta Reflections 2013 #10

When it comes to the heart of Neuro-Semantics and NLP— studying subjective human experiences and modeling those experiences, a first question that often arises is why. Why model an experience? And the answer is really simple. It is to understand how it works. That’s because when you understanding the how of now (Jan. 28, #6) you are often handed powerful leverage points of change or replication. That is, knowing how an experience works—if that experience is not helpful, useful, beneficial, ecological, etc.—you can change it. And mostly you can change it by noting how it works, when, where, with whom, etc. and sometimes the tiniest alteration of a key variable will facilitate a systemic change.

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One of our purposes in Neuro-Semantics is to enable ourselves and others to actualize, or make real, our highest and best. Highest refers to your highest visions about life, your values for how to live, and meanings for making life meaningful. Best refers to your top performances, your best skills and competencies, and taking your actions so that they reflect you when you are in the zone of performance. Yet to do that with mindfulness requires that we be able to assess where we are now and where we are as we progress, in other words, assessment of our self-actualization. And that means creating benchmarks for self-actualizing development.

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MODELING: THE MAGIC OF “HOW” – Meta Reflections 2013 #7

In last week’s post, I highlighted the power of focusing on the how of detailing out what is happening in the now. For me, this was the most exciting thing when I first discovered NLP Modeling. By asking questions and by closely observing people, a person could identify how any given person is currently, at this moment, creating his or her sense of reality. And if we can do that, then we can figure out how that reality came into existence, operates, and can be altered. Incredible!

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In the last post (#7), I wrote this: So just how do you model using Meta-States? The answer lies in detecting and identifying the meta-levels that a person has reflexively brought to themselves that now qualifies their experience and operates as a frame to their experience. What this means is that as you and I access another thought-and-feeling about our first state, that second state operates dynamically to do several things-

It brings another mind-body state to it and so adds qualities or qualifies the first.
It sets the cognitive ideas within that state as the frame for the first.
It puts the first as a member of a class, the “class” being the classification that the second one creates.

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Modeling Excellence Series #10

The Matrix Model originated from the Meta-States Model. It arose as a way to express what a “meta-state” is in a way that the average person could easily understand and use. So instead of taking about “states,” I began talking about “the games” that we humans play out in our actions and talk. So where did that idea come from? From T.A. (Transactional Analysis) and especially from Tom Harris (I’m Okay; You’re Okay, 1970) and from Eric Berne (Games People Play, 1965). People play “games.” A game is a set of actions that you can see or hear and so a “game” is an external expression of something internal.

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Modeling Excellence Series #13

In the last article in this series, I contrasted two very different kinds of “subjective experiences,” short-term and long-term experiences. In doing so I also contrasted the genius of NLP to the genius of Neuro-Semantics. My point was that what NLP began regarding modeling the structure of experience, Neuro-Semantics has continued and expanded with the Meta-States Model and the Matrix Model. Here as I continue that discussion, I’ll use resilience as an example. I’ll do that because it is easy to comprehend and because it was the modeling project from which I discovered the Meta-States Model.

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Neuro-Semantic Announcements

The International Neuro-Semantic Conference — 2013  — June 21-23 https://www.neurosemantics.com/second-neuro-semantics-conference This “Coaching Conference” is designed to provide lots and lots of top-level and cutting-edge models, patterns, and practices for those […]

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